


Back Then, It was the Other Way Round

by sasukeee_kun



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-08 00:12:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6831028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasukeee_kun/pseuds/sasukeee_kun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Killua! Killua!" He yelled as he rushed passed and marched right in front of me with a smug look. I looked over at him curiously. I raised an eyebrow wondering what he was yelling about. "I'm glad I met you!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Back Then, It was the Other Way Round

**Author's Note:**

> Good luck. Sorry the paragraphs are so damn short

_"Killua! Killua!" He yelled as he rushed passed and marched right in front of me with a smug look. I looked over at him curiously. I raised an eyebrow wondering what he was yelling about. "I'm glad I met you!"_ **_(A/N: actual quote:( so sad)_ **

****

I was in the darkness before I met you.

 _my_ _existence was meaningless,_ _my_ _life was pointless,_ _my_ _soul had no heart,_ _my_ _heart had no soul_ ,  _my_ _mind was unclean and tampered with_ ,  _my_ _body was a monstrosit_ _y._

 _'Why was I alive?'_ I often asked myself. Yet no one had ever answered my question. No one did and no one would answer my question.

Until I met him...

Until I met him, I was a merciless, cold and heartless demon. Until I met him, I wanted my friend Death to take my soul. Until I met him I didn't know how to smile.

He was my first friend. My light. My saviour.

But where is he now?

Back then... If only we knew.

If only we knew the struggles we'd face. The number of times we'd encounter my old ally Death. The number of occasions we'd would cry. How we'd lose again and again.

If only we knew how we'd conquer all of those who stood in our way. Standing triumphantly in the end. How we'd laugh and celebrate after.

Remember those times we'd sit under the stars and we'd name them all. Lay on a blanket, side by side. Make jokes and giggle quietly. We knew it would take an eternity to count each and every star.

The greatest gift back then for me, would have been eternity with you.

All we ever desired was to become the strongest. We didn't want to be feared. We didn't want to be the best. We didn't care if we lost if we got hurt if we got laughed at.

All we wanted... Was to have fun. That's all we ever cared about. But for me, it was more. I wanted to be with you. That's all I wanted.

That day when you left, when you were angry. I told you not to leave. I told you to stop. You looked back at me and told me it was going to be alright.

**(A/N: when Gon is with pitou)**

I nearly lost you that day. For once Death was my enemy because he nearly took you from me. I didn't want to lose you. You were my everything. Was I even something to you?

The stage of momentous and importance for me was when I thought to save you would do the world well. Your pure heart and innocent mind. You were the best person I knew.

After you got better, you apologised. I said I could forgive. I said I would forgive you. But I didn't.

When I was with you, I felt all the world's happiness. You made me shine so much, that the sun and all stars combined dimmed in comparison. When I was with you the feeling was indescribable. I felt weightless and powerful.

Imagine what it felt like when I feared that you would be gone. When you were so close to leaving me. Sitting on Deaths door.

And just like before:

 _my_ _existence was meaningless_ ,  _my_ _lif_ _e_ _was pointless_

Why was I alive now? Because I lost my one reason. My reason which was you; it was you, Gon. 

****

_"No. It is I... who was glad to have met you." I whispered after Gon said he was glad to have met me. Gon didn't hear me. But I was glad. Better he didn't know my true feelings. Maybe one day I'll tell him. A confession. How embarrassing! I chuckled to myself._

_"Why are you laughing Killua?"_

****

I'm standing here now. In front of your gravestone. You're dead...

I lay some flowers.

You killed me after you broke my heart. You left me. You hurt me. The pain was intolerable.

So I killed you. And like before, you said it would be alright and I stayed with you till Death took your soul. I don't regret it. I don't regret killing you.

The only thing in my life I regret is meeting you. Back then you said you were glad to have met me. I should have said it out loud.

Because back then, it was the other way round.

****

**Author's Note:**

> Such a shame Killua killed Gon.


End file.
